Every holiday season, someone inevitably steps into the role of Scrooge. No, not a Victorian miser counting coins in a foggy counting house, but the modern-day equivalent: a grumpy figure who rolls their eyes at festive cheer, avoids the office Secret Santa like the plague, and declares war on anything that sparkles. You probably know one. You might be one. So, what does the 21st-century Scrooge look like, and what would it take to thaw their frosty heart?
How can I identify a modern-day Scrooge?
The modern-day Scrooge starts small, often with a pointed refusal to participate in Christmas jumper day. “They’re tacky,” they declare, conveniently ignoring the joy they bring to everyone else. When the office or household tries to hang a bit of tinsel, they protest with groans about “unnecessary clutter.” Even a well-placed bauble can ignite a debate about taste and tradition. And don’t even think about playing Christmas music—they’ll be there to shut it off faster than you can say “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”
Unlike Ebenezer Scrooge, today’s bah-humbug brigade isn’t fuelled by greed or disdain for the poor. Instead, their grumpiness often stems from modern pressures: the relentless commercialisation of Christmas, the never-ending stream of holiday adverts, and the sheer overwhelm of social obligations. For many, it’s not a hatred of Christmas itself but exhaustion from the build-up that starts in October.
One hallmark of a modern Scrooge is their relationship with social media. They’re the first to post sarcastic memes about “Christmas in November” or tweet about how the latest John Lewis ad is just a ploy to make us cry. They’ll point out that mince pies were in the supermarket before Halloween ended, but not without adding a snide, “Capitalism strikes again.”
And then there’s the avoidance of gift-giving. Where Scrooge begrudged a simple donation, today’s Scrooge finds ways to sidestep gift exchanges altogether. “We’re all just exchanging things no one really needs,” they’ll argue, while secretly dreading the pressure of finding the perfect present. If forced into a Secret Santa, they’ll either opt for the most generic mug imaginable or give something wildly inappropriate to prove a point.
Will they be condemned like Marley, or is there hope?
The modern Scrooge isn’t entirely beyond redemption. Like their Dickensian counterpart, even the grumpiest soul can be softened—usually not by ghostly visits, but by small acts of festive kindness. Perhaps it’s a genuinely thoughtful gift that reminds them Christmas isn’t just about buying things but about showing care. Maybe it’s seeing the unfiltered joy of a child opening a gift or helping out at a charity event. Sometimes, all it takes is the right Christmas movie and a mug of mulled wine to crack their icy exterior.
Interestingly, many modern-day Scrooges are self-aware. They know their grumpiness is a bit of a performance, a counterweight to the relentless cheer of the season. And sometimes, they secretly enjoy the festivities—they just can’t admit it. You might catch them humming along to Last Christmas when they think no one’s listening or indulging in a cheeky second helping of Christmas pudding.
So, if you encounter a modern-day Scrooge this holiday season, don’t write them off. Beneath their grumbles and groans, there’s often a person overwhelmed by the season’s pressures or simply needing a bit of festive TLC. After all, even Scrooge himself came around in the end. And who knows? Your modern-day Scrooge might just surprise you by showing up to the Christmas party—possibly wearing the tackiest jumper of them all.
Dwight Warner is the quintessential oddball Brit, with a weirdly American-sounding name, who has a knack for turning the mundane into the extraordinary. Hailing originally from London, now living in the sleepy depths of Lincolnshire but claiming an allegiance to the absurd, Dwight has perfected the art of finding the surreal in real life. Whether it’s a spirited rant about the philosophical implications of queueing or a deep dive into why tea tastes better in a mug older than you, his blogs blur the line between the abstract and the everyday.
With an irreverent wit and a penchant for tangents that somehow come full circle, Dwight Warner doesn’t just write; he performs on the page. His humour is both sharp and delightfully nonsensical, like Monty Python met your nosiest neighbour and they decided to co-write a diary.
Known for being gregarious, Dwight is the life of any (real or metaphorical) party, whether he’s deconstructing the existential crisis of mismatched socks or sharing his inexplicable theories about why pigeons are secretly running the economy.
A larger-than-life personality with a laugh as loud as his opinions, Dwight Warner invites readers to step into a world where everything’s slightly askew—and that’s exactly how he likes it.
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