Secret Lives of Kitchen Appliances: What the Kettle Really Knows
A whimsical, slightly paranoid essay from the perspective of your kitchen kettle, revealing the secrets it keeps and the judgements it silently passes as it watches your daily chaos.
Tag: British humour
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How to Write a Work Email Like Shakespeare (and Why You Should Start Now)
Tired of boring office emails? Learn how to write like Shakespeare and add drama, passive-aggression, and poetic flair to your professional correspondence. Confound your colleagues, baffle your boss, and conquer the inbox like a bard.
What If All Newspaper Headlines Had to Be Truthful?
A whimsical, satirical essay imagining a world where newspaper headlines had to be completely truthful, from underwhelming sports results to painfully accurate weather reports.
Why Does Your Car Sometimes Seem Like It’s Sighing When You Sit in It?
A slightly paranoid essay on why your car might be sighing every time you sit down. From pothole trauma to fast food shame, maybe it’s quietly judging your driving.
An Open Letter to the People Who Leave One Sheet on the Toilet Roll
An open letter to the unsung menace of modern civilisation: those who leave just one sheet on the toilet roll.
Do Chairs Have Consciousness? (And Are They Judging Us?)
A whimsical essay pondering whether chairs might secretly have consciousness — and if they do, are they quietly judging us for the crumbs, the slouching, and the occasional fart?
The Forgotten Olympics: Competitive Napping and Other Events That Should Exist
Ever wished competitive napping or synchronised queueing were Olympic sports? Dive into the whimsical world of the Forgotten Olympics celebrating the absurd skills we truly excel at.
How to Convince Yourself You’ve Been Productive Without Actually Doing Anything
Discover the art of looking wildly productive without achieving much at all. From opening dozens of tabs to using business jargon in your kitchen, this cheeky guide explores the high-performance theatre of fake productivity.