It starts with a simple email. A routine work message about next week’s meeting, a spreadsheet attachment you’ll pretend to review, maybe a passive-aggressive reminder about timesheets. You skim through it, brain on autopilot, when suddenly—there it is. A single, misplaced x at the end of the message.
Your boss has just signed off their email with a kiss.
Now, there are only two options. Either:
- They have a secret and disturbingly affectionate fondness for your administrative skills.
- Their muscle memory has betrayed them, and they’ve accidentally typed x out of habit—the same way they sign off emails to their partner.
You pray it’s the latter.
The Five Stages of Realising Your Boss Just Sent You a Kiss
1. Confusion
You stare at the screen. Surely you’re seeing things. It’s late, you’re tired, maybe you’ve imagined it? You read the email again. No, it’s definitely there. A full stop, followed by a little x. Your eyes widen. Your heartbeat accelerates. You are now in uncharted territory.
2. Panic
Did they mean to do that? Is this some kind of test? Is it your fault? Maybe you overdid it with the friendly tone in previous emails. Did you sign off with “Best” instead of “Kind regards”? Did you use an exclamation mark? Have you somehow, without realising, cultivated an email atmosphere in which this was an acceptable sign-off?
You check past emails. No sign of x-based familiarity. Good. But that makes it worse. Because now, you know.
3. Overanalysis
The problem is, you know how this happened. It was an accident. A case of email muscle memory gone rogue. They’ve spent years signing off messages to their partner like this, and today—thanks to an unfortunate slip—they have sent one to you.
It’s a small mistake, yes. But in workplace email etiquette, this is seismic. You can never fully recover.
4. The Dreaded Reply
Now, the real crisis: Do you acknowledge it?
If you reply normally, do you subtly reassure them that you didn’t even notice? Or does ignoring it make it worse? What if they think you did notice, and that your lack of reaction is, in itself, a reaction? Should you put an x back? No, obviously not. But would that actually neutralise the situation? Would it establish a ceasefire?
You briefly consider quitting your job.
5. Moving On (Or Trying To)
In the end, you do what any normal person would do: you respond with excruciating formality. A curt “Thanks, see you Monday.” No emojis. No exclamation marks. Just cold, neutral professionalism. You strip your email of all warmth, determined to suffocate any lingering awkwardness.
And yet, every future email from your boss will now carry a weight it never had before. You’ll scan every sign-off for another rogue x, knowing that, for one brief moment, they accidentally blurred the line between colleague and significant other.
And there is no undoing that. But what about the boss?
From Your Boss’s Point of View:
The second they hit send, they realise. Horror floods their system. Their eyes lock onto the little x at the end of the email, the treacherous mark of familiarity where there should be none. They lurch forward, fingers frantically clicking in vain—because recall email never works, and they know it. It’s out there. It’s in your inbox.
Now they must sit and wait, consumed by the existential dread of wondering if you’ve seen it yet. Did you notice? Are you sitting at your desk, eyebrows raised, quietly forwarding it to colleagues for a collective breakdown? Worse, will you mention it? Will you reply with your own x? Is this now a thing?
They consider emailing again, casually addressing it with a breezy, “Haha, ignore that last x!”—but no. That would only make it worse. Instead, they must pretend it never happened, even as their mind replays it on an endless, torturous loop.
Or just maybe… they meant it?
James Henshaw is a brooding Geordie export who swapped the industrial grit of Newcastle for the peculiar calm of Lincolnshire—though he’s yet to fully trust the flatness. With a mind as sharp as a stiletto and a penchant for science-tinged musings, James blends the surreal with the everyday, crafting blogs that feel like the lovechild of a physics textbook and a fever dream.
Equally at home dissecting the absurdities of modern life as he is explaining quantum theory with alarming metaphors, James writes with the wit of someone who knows too much and the irreverence of someone who doesn’t care. His posts are infused with a dark humour that dares you to laugh at the strange, the inexplicable, and the occasionally terrifying truths of the universe—whether it’s the unnerving accuracy of Alexa or the existential menace of wasps.
A figure of mystery with a slightly unsettling edge, James is the sort of bloke who’d explain the meaning of life over a pint, but only after a dramatic pause long enough to make you question your own existence. His wit cuts deep, his insights are sharp, and his ability to make the surreal feel strangely plausible keeps readers coming back for more.
Discover more from untypicable
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.