The Passive-Aggressive Art of Email Sign-Offs

Emails are, at their core, a simple concept. You write words, you hit send, and someone else reads them (or doesn’t, depending on whether they’re the type to “circle back” weeks later as if nothing happened). But lurking at the bottom of every email, just before that final full stop, is a hidden battlefield: the email sign-off.

It’s not just a way to end a message—it’s a finely tuned weapon. A secret handshake. A passive-aggressive slap in digital form. Used correctly, a sign-off can make or break workplace diplomacy, subtly communicate your true feelings, or, in extreme cases, send a shiver down the recipient’s spine.

Here’s a breakdown of the most common (and most dangerous) email sign-offs, what they claim to mean, and what they actually mean.

1. “Kind Regards” – The Cold, Corporate Dagger

What it pretends to say: “I am a professional human who wishes you well.”
What it actually says: “I don’t like you, but HR says I have to be polite.”

There is no kindness in “Kind Regards.” It is the most chillingly neutral way to sign off an email while maintaining plausible deniability. It’s polite, yes, but in the same way that being handed a plain beige envelope with “NOTICE OF LEGAL ACTION” written on it is polite.

Usage:

• Perfect for shutting down a conversation while appearing civil.
• Ideal for when you are deeply irritated but not quite irritated enough to make it obvious.
• Often followed by an attachment you definitely should have read the first time.

2. “Best” – The Ambiguous Power Move

What it pretends to say: “I wish you the best, my friend.”
What it actually says: “I acknowledge you and this email, and that’s the limit of my emotional investment.”

There is nothing warm about “Best.” It is the professional equivalent of a nod across a crowded room—brief, cold, and with no intention of further engagement.

Usage:

• A favourite among people who want to appear friendly but don’t want to commit to actual friendliness.
• Often used by higher-ups who want to sound approachable but don’t care enough to type three more letters.
• The preferred choice for people who are perpetually 30 seconds away from throwing their laptop out the window.

3. “Thanks” – The Bare Minimum

What it pretends to say: “I appreciate this.”
What it actually says: “I need you to do this and I want to sound polite, but I will not be elaborating.”

“Thanks” is a classic. It’s short, to the point, and safe. But beware—context is everything.

“Thanks!” – This is warm. Approachable. Friendly.
“Thanks.” – This is a demand. A threat. A warning.

Usage:

• Used when you need someone to do something but don’t want to sound like you’re bossing them around.
• If someone emails you with just “Thanks.”, prepare for battle.

4. “Thanks in Advance” – The Subtle Threat

What it pretends to say: “I am grateful for your future efforts.”
What it actually says: “I expect you to do this. No questions. No excuses.”

There is no escape from “Thanks in advance.” It is not a request. It is a statement of fact. By the time you’ve read those three words, your fate has been sealed.

Usage:

• Best deployed when you want someone to do something but don’t want to deal with their input.
• Makes it clear that you will not be chasing them for it because it will be done.

5. “Have a Great Day!” – The Cheerful Yet Menacing Closer

What it pretends to say: “I genuinely hope you have a nice day.”
What it actually says: “I loathe you, but I will package my rage in legally acceptable optimism.”

Rarely used in truly happy emails, “Have a great day!” is the sign-off of someone forcing a smile through clenched teeth. The more cheerful it is, the more passive-aggressive it feels.

Usage:

• Best used after telling someone off but wanting to seem positive.
• If received in an email that also contains a “Just circling back”, prepare to suffer.

6. “Warm Regards” – The Overly Familiar Gambit

What it pretends to say: “I care about you and your wellbeing.”
What it actually says: “I think we are closer than we actually are.”

“Warm Regards” is the hug of email sign-offs. It tries to be comforting but mostly just makes everyone uncomfortable. If you don’t already have an established warm relationship with the recipient, using this can feel like sending a xx to your boss. (And we all know how that ends.)

Usage:

• Acceptable if you’re actually on friendly terms with someone.
• Highly suspicious if used by someone who was coldly professional in their last email.

7. “Sent from my iPhone” – The ‘I’m Important’ Excuse

What it pretends to say: “Apologies for any typos—this was sent from my phone.”
What it actually says: “I have an iPhone. I’d like you to know that.”

“Sent from my iPhone” is the email equivalent of casually mentioning, “Oh, sorry, I was in the Maldives last week.” It is unnecessary, often irrelevant, and mostly used by people who don’t realise they can delete it in their settings.

And let’s be honest—typos are not exclusive to phone emails. If anything, this disclaimer is more likely to draw attention to them.

Usage:

• Used by people who either don’t know how to turn it off or want you to know they are too important to be at a computer.
• Unforgivable if it appears in a professional email full of errors.

8. No Sign-Off at All – The Ultimate Power Move

What it pretends to say: Nothing at all.
What it actually says: “I have moved beyond the constraints of pleasantries.”

An email with no sign-off is terrifying. It’s abrupt. It’s cold. It leaves nothing open for interpretation. A person who sends an email with no sign-off is either in a hurry or furious beyond words. Either way, it’s unsettling.

Usage:

• Common in workplace disagreements where the sender is done engaging.
• If your boss starts emailing you with just their name at the bottom, prepare for restructuring.

Choose Your Sign-Off Wisely

Email sign-offs may seem small, but they carry weight. Choose wrong, and you might accidentally sound cold, too familiar, or subtly hostile. Choose right, and you can exert total psychological dominance over your inbox.

So next time you sign off an email, take a moment. Consider your words carefully. Because sometimes, “Kind Regards” isn’t kind at all.

And if all else fails? Just hit send with no sign-off and watch the world burn.

Have a Great Day! James.