Non-Fungible Tokens, or NFTs, are the internet’s latest attempt to make the over-30 crowd feel like they’ve wandered into a university lecture about quantum physics. Allegedly, they’re digital assets stored on the blockchain—whatever that means—representing ownership of art, music, videos, or, in some cases, absolutely nothing. Yes, you too can own a digital drawing of a monkey for the price of a small car—but don’t worry, everyone else can screenshot it for free.
If you’re wondering, What’s the point of NFTs? or What the hell is a blockchain?, congratulations: you’re asking the same questions as the rest of us. Let’s dive into the nonsensical world of NFTs and attempt to make sense of their baffling existence.
What Even Is the Blockchain?
Ah, the blockchain: the magical word thrown around to justify the entire NFT ecosystem. For those of us who didn’t grow up coding our own Minecraft servers, here’s a highly sarcastic explanation:
Imagine a giant, invisible ledger in the sky where every transaction is recorded permanently and publicly. It’s like a digital notebook that everyone can see but no one can change. Every time someone buys, sells, or creates an NFT, a new entry is added to the ledger, ensuring that this cartoon ape or pixelated frog is officially yours.
The genius here is that blockchain technology uses enormous amounts of energy and computing power to do what a piece of paper could accomplish. But hey, it’s decentralised and immutable, which means it’s technically “better” than traditional systems. Right?
So, in summary, blockchain is like the world’s most over-engineered receipt book, and NFTs are the overpriced junk it records. Clear as mud? Good, let’s move on.
The Value of NFTs: Or Lack Thereof
NFT enthusiasts claim these tokens have value because they’re unique. But then you remember that “value” in the NFT world is entirely subjective, based on what someone else is willing to pay. It’s like the art world, except instead of a Picasso, you’re bidding on a pixelated frog in sunglasses called “CryptoFrog420.”
And the uniqueness? Well, the image itself isn’t unique. Anyone can right-click, save, and share it. The only thing unique about an NFT is the little blockchain code attached to it. It’s like owning the deed to a plot of land in a video game—except less useful because you can’t even build a virtual house on it.
Why Do People Buy Them?
The reasons people buy NFTs are as varied as they are baffling. Some do it for investment, believing that their $10,000 cartoon ape will be worth $100,000 in a year. Others buy them for clout, flaunting their purchases on social media as if they’ve just acquired a Fabergé egg.
Then there are those who claim NFTs are about “supporting artists.” And sure, that’s a noble cause—except when the artist is a random generator that churns out slightly different versions of the same pixel art.
Let’s not forget the scammers, who see NFTs as the perfect way to fleece gullible investors. Rug pulls—where creators hype a project, sell a bunch of tokens, and vanish with the money—are practically a genre at this point.
NFTs as Art: Really?
One of the great selling points of NFTs is that they’re “revolutionising art.” And while some NFTs do feature creative, original work, a vast majority look like they were designed by a bored teenager in MS Paint.
The most infamous example is “CryptoPunks,” a collection of 8-bit pixel characters that look like they belong on a Commodore 64. People have paid millions for these, presumably because nothing screams “status symbol” like owning what looks like a clipart thief.
Then there’s Bored Ape Yacht Club, a series of poorly drawn monkeys wearing hats. Each one is slightly different, which apparently justifies their six-figure price tags. Critics have argued that NFTs are pushing the boundaries of what can be considered art. The reality? They’re pushing the boundaries of what can be considered sanity.
The Environmental Disaster No One Mentions
You’d think NFTs would at least be harmless, but no. The blockchain technology that underpins them is so energy-intensive it could power a small country. Each transaction on Ethereum—the most popular blockchain for NFTs—has a carbon footprint equivalent to an entire household’s monthly energy use.
So while you’re admiring your digital cat wearing sunglasses, spare a thought for the planet. Who knew owning a cartoon could contribute to climate change?
Do NFTs Have a Future?
The NFT bubble has already shown signs of deflating, with prices plummeting and hype dwindling. But true believers insist they’re here to stay, claiming they’ll revolutionise industries from gaming to real estate. How the market hasn’t collapsed yet is a mystery.
Maybe they’re right. Or maybe NFTs will go the way of pogs and Tamagotchis—fondly remembered by a niche audience and completely baffling to everyone else.
The Final Question: Why?
At the end of the day, NFTs are a perfect encapsulation of the internet from a couple of years ago: flashy, absurd, and completely devoid of practical value. They’re not about art, community, or innovation—they’re about proving that someone will pay for literally anything if you slap the word “blockchain” on it.
So, if you’ve ever wanted to spend thousands of pounds on a digital picture of a penguin in a bowler hat, go ahead. Just don’t be surprised when someone screenshots it and says, “Look, I’ve got one too!”
In the immortal words of every sane person encountering NFTs for the first time: Why?
James Henshaw is a brooding Geordie export who swapped the industrial grit of Newcastle for the peculiar calm of Lincolnshire—though he’s yet to fully trust the flatness. With a mind as sharp as a stiletto and a penchant for science-tinged musings, James blends the surreal with the everyday, crafting blogs that feel like the lovechild of a physics textbook and a fever dream.
Equally at home dissecting the absurdities of modern life as he is explaining quantum theory with alarming metaphors, James writes with the wit of someone who knows too much and the irreverence of someone who doesn’t care. His posts are infused with a dark humour that dares you to laugh at the strange, the inexplicable, and the occasionally terrifying truths of the universe—whether it’s the unnerving accuracy of Alexa or the existential menace of wasps.
A figure of mystery with a slightly unsettling edge, James is the sort of bloke who’d explain the meaning of life over a pint, but only after a dramatic pause long enough to make you question your own existence. His wit cuts deep, his insights are sharp, and his ability to make the surreal feel strangely plausible keeps readers coming back for more.
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