Ah, advent calendars. The humble cardboard countdown to Christmas that somehow manages to fill us with childlike glee every December. There’s something uniquely thrilling about opening a tiny door each morning, even when the prize is a piece of chocolate so questionable it might as well be candle wax. But why are we Brits so obsessed with these little treasures, and how have they evolved from simple festive fun into a competition of increasingly absurd extravagance?
It all starts with nostalgia. For many of us, advent calendars were a staple of childhood. You’d wake up every morning, run to the calendar, and eagerly pop open a new door to reveal a microscopic treat. Back then, it didn’t matter that the chocolate tasted like disappointment. The magic was in the ritual, the slow build-up to Christmas Day. Fast forward to adulthood, and we’re still hooked—but now, advent calendars have gone rogue.
The classic chocolate advent calendar is no longer enough for the modern festive enthusiast. These days, advent calendars are an exercise in one-upmanship. You’ve got your boozy calendars with tiny bottles of gin, whisky, or wine. Beauty calendars offering sample-sized moisturisers and mascara. Cheese advent calendars (yes, that’s a thing) with daily wedges of dairy. And let’s not forget the high-end luxury ones that cost more than a return flight to Tenerife and promise tiny jars of artisanal jam or candles that smell like “misty mornings in Cornwall.”
At this point, the concept of an advent calendar is so far removed from its origins, it’s almost unrecognisable. The humble £1 Cadbury’s calendar from the corner shop feels quaint next to its fancier cousins. Yet, for all their lavishness, these calendars still cling to the fundamental appeal: the joy of opening a door and discovering a surprise. We’re simple creatures, really.
Of course, with the rise of extravagant advent calendars comes the inevitable social media show-off. December Instagram feeds are flooded with people unboxing their calendars, whether it’s a posh Fortnum & Mason offering or a calendar for their dog (because why shouldn’t Fido get daily biscuits in festive shapes?). For the rest of us, it’s a reminder that our calendar, featuring a cartoon Santa and vaguely chocolate-like contents, might not be winning any style points, but at least it’s got heart.
Let’s not overlook the calendar rebels—the people who open all the doors at once. These monsters walk among us, and they live without shame. The whole point of an advent calendar is the anticipation, the discipline, the small daily reward! Yet some people—children, mainly, but the occasional rogue adult—rip through the entire thing on 1 December and leave nothing but a sad, empty shell of cardboard and regret.
Advent calendars are also a minefield for the disorganised among us. Every year, there’s the panic of remembering to buy one before they sell out. You end up with whatever’s left on the shelf—a questionable no-brand calendar where the chocolate is mysteriously grey or a random character calendar that makes no sense. Why is Peppa Pig celebrating the birth of Christ? Nobody knows.
And let’s not forget the ultimate advent calendar disaster: forgetting to open it. You realise on 12 December that you’ve fallen behind, leading to a binge of twelve chocolates in one sitting. It’s an indulgent frenzy, but also deeply unsatisfying—like trying to make up for lost time in the worst way possible.
For all their quirks and absurdities, advent calendars remain a beloved tradition. They tap into our love of countdowns, our obsession with tiny surprises, and our ability to find joy in the simplest of rituals. Whether you’re sticking with the classic chocolate or splurging on a bougie version filled with artisanal truffles, advent calendars remind us that Christmas is about more than just the big day—it’s about savouring the little moments along the way.
So today, as 1 December rolls around and you open that first door, take a moment to appreciate the absurd genius of the advent calendar. Sure, it’s just a bit of cardboard and a few treats, but it’s also a tiny daily dose of happiness in the cold, dark lead-up to Christmas. And if your chocolate tastes like disappointment, just remember: the real joy is in the ritual. Or at least, that’s what we tell ourselves as we eye up the speciality cheese or gin calendar in the shop window.
And don’t forget a calendar for the dot/cat/budgie. Wait… you forgot?!
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