Living with high-functioning autism can feel a bit like being handed a roadmap of life – only someone’s nicked the instructions and written “good luck” in biro across the top. From awkward eye contact to overthinking every text, navigating the neurotypical world takes a dose of patience, plenty of perseverance, and a surprising amount of humour. If you’re up for a peek into what it’s really like to walk the high-functioning autism tightrope, put the kettle on – here’s my story, oddities and all.
Living with High-Functioning Autism: The Basics
High-functioning autism, in case you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting it, is a form of autism spectrum disorder where people often have average or above-average intelligence. We might be able to hold down a job, have relationships, and pass for “normal” on a good day. But make no mistake – under the surface, things are buzzing. While my mind’s constantly at work, I’ve become a bit of a connoisseur in surviving life’s quirks with autism. And, frankly, if I had a pound for every time I thought, “Was that a normal thing to say?” I’d be lounging on a beach somewhere by now.
The First Clues: Early Signs and Realisations
Looking back, there were early clues that I was a bit of an odd duck. While other kids were running around, I’d be obsessively organising my crayons or staring off into space, content as could be. Teachers, bless them, would try to spark my interest in games or group projects. But as long as I could retreat to my little world of routines and order, I was perfectly chuffed. It wasn’t until I grew older that I noticed I wasn’t quite marching to the same beat.
Social Situations: A Field Guide
Ah, social situations. If there’s one thing that’s both endlessly fascinating and utterly baffling, it’s small talk. I’m the sort who dives headfirst into a conversation about astrophysics when everyone else is politely discussing the weather. This whole business of reading between the lines is a never-ending adventure. Sarcasm? I might pick it up on a good day. Subtle hints? Good luck with that.
Misunderstandings in Everyday Conversations
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to ask myself, “Wait, did they mean that literally?” From misunderstandings in work meetings to casually missing a joke at the pub, I’ve learnt to laugh at the fact that my brain simply isn’t wired for the wink-wink-nudge-nudge way most people communicate. And honestly, it’s been one of the best lessons – laughing at myself instead of endlessly analysing every social gaffe.
The Art of Eye Contact
Eye contact is an art form I haven’t quite mastered. They say it’s the “window to the soul,” but for me, it’s more like a flash of blinding sunlight – one that I tend to look away from. With friends, I can manage a bit of eye contact here and there. But in formal situations? Let’s just say I’ve spent many a work meeting nodding and smiling at someone’s tie.
Sensory Sensitivity: The World at 100 Decibels
My relationship with sound is… complicated. Every time I step out into a bustling café or the Tube at rush hour, my senses hit overload faster than you can say “mind the gap.” It’s like living with a volume dial constantly turned up. These days, my noise-cancelling headphones are practically a part of me – I don’t leave home without them.
Textural Adventures
Texture sensitivity is another thing. There are certain jumpers I wouldn’t wear even if you paid me, and let’s not get started on the wrong kind of crunchy food. I’m convinced that food textures are some kind of cosmic joke. It’s as if the universe decided to make my favourite snack just a bit too gritty, stringy, or slimy.
Routine is my Religion
Routine keeps me grounded – it’s my safety net when the world feels like it’s spinning out of control. I’m not talking about a bit of structure; I mean a rock-solid daily plan. The knowledge that certain things happen at certain times is downright comforting. My calendar isn’t just a tool – it’s practically a lifestyle.
Unexpected Change: The Enemy
Then, of course, there’s the other side of the coin: change. Unexpected changes, even tiny ones, can leave me feeling like someone’s pulled the rug out from under my feet. Tell me dinner plans have changed last-minute, and my brain’s already bracing for impact. Over the years, I’ve had to train myself to roll with the punches, but honestly, I’d rather we just stick to the plan.
Hyperfocus: A Double-Edged Sword
One of the more peculiar upsides of autism is hyperfocus. When I’m interested in something, I’ll dive in headfirst – for hours, sometimes days, forgetting all else. It’s as if I fall down a rabbit hole, researching everything from Norse mythology to obscure astronomy facts. Friends have learnt that when I’m in a hyperfocus zone, I’m as good as gone.
The Downside of Obsession
But the downside? Once I’m in, I can’t seem to turn it off. This single-minded focus can drain my energy to the point where I’m knackered. It’s a bit like starting a DIY project at midnight – exciting at first, but you’ll eventually realise you’ve bitten off more than you can chew.
Employment and Career: An Adventure in Masking
Working life is a fascinating terrain for someone with autism. I’ve learnt to “mask” – to pass as neurotypical when the occasion demands. But masking is exhausting. The mental effort of navigating small talk, office banter, and remembering to make eye contact all day takes a toll. By the end of the day, I’m absolutely shattered.
Strengths at Work
There are upsides, though. I’m often praised for my attention to detail, and I’ve got a knack for spotting patterns and finding solutions others might overlook. If there’s a project that needs a thorough eye, I’m your person.
Romantic Relationships: Navigating Love with Autism
Relationships bring a whole new set of challenges. Dating is a bit like stumbling into an improv show without a script. There’s no manual for “flirting when you’re terrible at flirting,” but somehow I muddled through. Today, I’ve got a partner who gets me, quirks and all, and that’s worth more than words can say.
The Beauty of Brutal Honesty
One thing my partner appreciates is my honesty – apparently, it’s refreshing! I’ll tell you exactly what I think, for better or worse. Over the years, I’ve learnt to soften my honesty with a bit of tact (when I remember, that is), but mostly, I’ve found that it’s best to just be myself.
The Autistic Meltdown: When Things Become Too Much
When things build up – when I’m overstimulated or overwhelmed – I reach a point where it all just… boils over. Recognising the signs of a meltdown has been essential. Now, when I feel one coming on, I take a bit of time for myself, pop on some soothing music, or retreat to a quiet corner. It’s a way of hitting the “reset” button.
Finding the Humour in High-Functioning Autism
Living with autism can be tough, but finding humour in my quirks has made all the difference. There’s nothing quite like accidentally misunderstanding someone’s compliment or overthinking a text response to the point of hilarity. Laughing at these moments helps me embrace who I am.
Awkwardly Funny Moments
From my obsession with correcting typos to my extreme aversion to spontaneous plans, my life is a series of awkward, humorous moments. And you know what? I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Benefits of Being Neurodiverse
One of the joys of autism is seeing the world a bit differently. High-functioning autism gives me a unique perspective that fuels my creativity and sense of wonder. My life is full of discoveries, quirks, and insights that most people never think twice about.
Embracing Neurodiversity and Self-Acceptance
In the end, living with high-functioning autism has been a journey towards self-acceptance. Learning about my autism has given me a sense of peace and understanding. Today, I advocate for myself, and for others who might feel like they don’t quite “fit” – because fitting in is overrated.
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